First things first. I read Lisa's blog. She was talking about wanting a special someone to love. "to give, to worry, to care, to know, to fight, to cry, and ultimately to love." I share the same sentiments as her. What is like to love someone - I'll never know.

Things have been improving for me I guess. :) The sleeping-before-12mm is working for me. My mood's not so erratic and I'm more awake nowadays (though I do still sleep in class cause it's boring and not cause I'm tired). I'm smiling more =D I like the feeling of completeting my hw till there is acutally time for me to freely sleep in class while the rest are doing on the spot. It's kinda nice. I have a sty on my left eye lid! ONE LUMP THERE! How gross. I'm discouraged to wear contacts which means no helmet or either that I'll be a "blind keeper". I was one today! Played w/o my specs and strangely my angling seems better.. Maybe is because I cant see clearly so I really focused only on the ball and not the player or whatever other stuff. Maybe I should just play "blind". Back to basics in a werid way huh?

Frankly I'm not in a elated mood. It's the time when I only want to listen to smooth/sad songs. I'm quiet tonight. I have completely no mood to do any hw. You know why?
A friend is sad right now.
-and I'm not beside her to relieve the sorrow and burden.

When the one sport that used to be the escape from everything becomes that one thing that hurts you the most, it really kind of sucks. When you are not enjoying it any longer, it becomes a torture. When you have learned so much but everything starts to go wrong, it's time to start from the begining again. Been there, done that still doing that.

I know you'll be strong cause that is You.